Me with our keynote speaker David Hoe @theohtn talking abt creating positive change at Opening Doors #ldnont 2014
The Olympics have always had a history of pausing wars, bringing nations together and displaying some of the best patriotism & athleticism worldwide. As a Canadian Sexologist my experience is unique because I have the privilege of living & breathing in one of the best nations in the world-Canada. Where the syrup is real, the coffee is always fresh, every person has a right to get married, curling & hockey are national sports (we own the ice) and, we all come together to demonstrate international love & pride over a pint of Canadian beer or AM Caesar with a Canadian extreme bean or speared pickle.
The Olympians at this year’s Sochi 2014 were admirable, determined and all around bad-ass beauties that leave this little Canuck proud to be from one of the greatest countries on our planet. Watching the gold medal hockey game inspired not only a nation to nurse a well-deserved hangover by noon, but it also inspired me to put together this quick list of the top 5 sexiest things from the Canadian Olympic participation at Sochi 2014.
1. The bearded-babe bobsled team
Let me just put this out there – men with beards are babes. But, have you seen the famous twit-pic of our bodacious Canadian bearded-babes bobsled team? This sexy pack helped, along with some other Canadian athletes bring some of our citizens towards the games where they otherwise may not have had any interest. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good tussling sporting event like the next guy, but having something nice to look at helps peak my interest just that little bit extra.
2. The #wearewinter hash tag
It’s strong, it invokes unity and it makes me feel like the entire country is part of the Stark Family, readying themselves to go into battle with the white walkers. Canada is one of the world’s more wired countries, with a social media uptake of 53% of our citizens logging in at least once a month (eMarketer survey), so it makes sense that some of the best hash tags came out of us during this Olympics. From #wearewinter , #priceisright, #beardbabes, #gogoldorgohome, #gocanadago and, #keepcalmcareyon Canada loves being connected and showing red & white pride over the web-o-sphere like none other.
3. Canadian opening ceremonies outfits
Red with black toggle duffle jackets graced the stadiums and all Canadians sat back and cheered with fashionable pride. But why are these outfits sexy? Because I’m sitting there wondering what deliciousness ensues underneath! Everyone has a pair of the HBC maple leaf mittens in their closet now and patriotic chic will truly continue to push though the rest of this winter’s polar vortex. Why? Because it’s what we do! Wearing Canada gear, in all seasons, no matter what country we are in, is how we Canadians show the rest of the world how rad we are and how much we are proud to let you know it.
*Just had to give a nod to the black beaver on the closing ceremony’s outfits #Canadalovesbeaver
4. The Canadian female Olympians
The female Canadian hockey team are the beauties that brought us home gold and set the tone for their male counterparts; the female Canadian curling team continued to dominate with Jennifer Jones as one of the world’s best skips to ever play the game; the Dufour-Lapointe sisters showed us that sexy genetics in athleticism is all about keeping it in the family and, when your country has won 10 gold medals and 6 of those come from the women’s categories I’d have to say that our Canadian women are in a league all their own. The Canadian female Olympians took to the ice and snow just as hard as the men and showed the world that nobody can hold them down from dominating on and off the tracks.
5. Canadian patriotism
We are polite, we stand together as a multicultural mosaic, we start drinking at 6.30am to watch hockey on a Sunday (or don’t go to bed Saturday night), we take a break from classes, we flood social media with our selfies & amazing hash tags, we Canada- we ARE Winter! With the warming of breakfast bacon & beer, an outstanding demonstration of athleticism, and a global pride from Budapest to Bali in beer halls, I know my FB news feed was inundated with Canadian pride from all over the world.
Dear Canada: with 25 medals, 10 gold, 10 silver and 5 bronze that placed us 3rd overall we will always remember where we were when “O Canada” was playing as those hockey babes put their arms around each other, sang our glorious Canadian national anthem and were recognized for being one of the strongest power houses at the 2014 Sochi Olympics. #GoCanada #wearewinter
- 2 weeks ago
Whether you’re a 40-something plus, cruising through Gen Y, or reinventing the world as a 20ish, sometimes it can be hard to YOLO your sex life with all of the mixed messaging and fractured ideologies being thrown in the mix. Many unfortunately have the influence to lead you astray of what is healthy, sexy and your ultimate a consenting choice.
We live, we date, we love, we fall out of love, we cheat, we stare, we fantasize and, we makes mistakes, but one thing is always a commonly experienced reality: we don’t talk enough about sex. Period. I’m not referencing the imagery that we are bombarded with regularly in terms of pornography, or the immense sexualization & objectification of women & youth in particular. What I am talking about is the everyday stuff. The everyday sex stuff. I’m talking about the shame, the guilt, the horniness, the stiffies, the wetness, the staring, the fantasizing, the blushing, the rubbing - basically, the “me and you” and everyday kind of stuff that happens to pretty much all of us that is 100% completely normal. We just don’t talk about it, ever really! Sex today is all about Brazilian waxes, misappropriated taxes, inflated body parts, the right money shots, regulations, instructions and conventions. The point here is that sex happens, everyday to everyone whether warranted or not.
This quick list then is more of an observance. As I sat down to write I wondered what it is that we’ve missed in all of our “top tip” columns and came up with a short list of the sex acts we more often than not don’t share with others, let alone discuss in polite company. I am hoping that this will spark discussions with your lovers and reflection within you to start talking about sex and normalize the conversation.
1. When you masturbate next to your sleeping partner
Mismatched libidos are a real influence that have impeded on the long term success of many relationships over time. Not only that, but some of us can rise to the occasion at the crack of AM, while others are more enticed to get jiggy post Jimmy Fallon. Either way, many of us have experienced that moment when our metaphorical sex juices (or literal for some) are flowing and our partner is next to us sawing wood; and not the beard-babe Canadian lumberjack kind. If you haven’t rubbed one out next to your sleeping partner or excused yourself to another room to get the job done, then you haven’t been in your relationship long enough. Maintaining an active self pleasuring relationship with yourself is just as important as maintaining an intimate relationship with your partner; and, for some of us, having a big O on a regular basis is more effective for a relaxing sleep, reducing stress, or works better than caffeine in the morning! Just remember lover, don’t take this sex act personally - this isn’t about your partner avoiding sex with you, it’s about relieving something within them.
2. The sex-crazed 2nd trimester
Throughout the years I have heard my BFFs, with their cute semi-inflated bellies, enviably strong nails, all getting their glow on, share with me extensive details that their nether regions are ravenous for some loving. Usually they are taken aback by this new found sexual karmic energy. I’ll admit, I immediately high-five them (because I’m a good friend like that). Then, I tell them that this libido boost should be looked at as life giving you a high-five and giving you a chance to experience heightened lust for a limited time as in a few months there will be a moment when you might not want to even acknowledge you have a vagina, let alone want someone else to look at her. The experience of an increased sex drive during pregnancy is common and can also be an intimately strengthening period of time that can bring couples closer as they anticipate the arrival of their new bundle. So, don’t worry if this happens, go with the flow and get your glow on girl!
3. Cheating on your partner in sex dreams
Well, this is awkward. You’ve just woken up from a deep sleep and then remember that you’ve been romping all night with the Sandman who may also happen to be your Ex. That’s when the WTF moment kicks in. Sex dreams happen to everyone. Sometimes they are as pleasurable as riding white horses in the meadow with George Clooney or getting naughty with Mila Kunis’ legs wrapped around your waist. Either way, you wake up refreshed, happy and sometimes a little moist all over. But, let’s be clear here, this isn’t A) cheating on your partner B) wrong or C) controllable. There are theories to suggest that we dream about sex more often when we desire it during our daily roused hours, but then again there are theories to suggest that these dreams happen when have been engaging in more sex than usual. Either way, our greatest fantasies and ideas can often be imagined when we catch some shut eye, so sail in the wind with your hair down or re-experience those past lovers without the guilt, because we are all sexual beings at all times of the day and night. There is no shame in the sleep game.
4. Faking orgasms
What is it with orgasms? They are amazing, super fun, beneficial to your health and bring your skin a more than desirable glow, yet, for some reason so many of us insist on restraint whilst discussing our orgasmic map. This occurs so much so that we have developed unhealthy patterns and inconsistent sexual experiences which have translated into a societal distortion of our overall attitudes and values towards sex. For some even, more often than not are many of us pretending to be experiencing pleasure and faking our orgasms. TBH I’d rather just eat a bowl of caramels than be wasting my time! Let me break it down for you: 48% of women and 11% of men (cc: Jimmy Jane) say they have faked an orgasm. Ladies, I’m looking at you because we need to pull it together here and reclaim those lost orgasms! Our sexual confidence has subsided for many reasons, but mainly because our sex-esteem has been suppressed by a general fear of talking about sex.
- 2 weeks ago
- 1 month ago
The ability to digitally transmit information and, moreover sexually intimate content in particular, has lead to interesting results such as that of unlimited texting packages, selfies and various filter apps. This new age trend has hit our mobile units by storm, and let’s be honest; where there’s digital technology, there’s someone else trying to have sex with it. Because well, orgasms. We’ve long overcome pixilated & distorted images and, have moved on up to high quality, so-good-you-can-see-their-no-longer- secret-mole-on-zoom graphics at a surplus supply, mass consumed at the quick dip of your digit.
Whether you want it or not, if you’re cruising the dating scene, eventually the day will come when the tone of your cheeky characters create an illustrative make it or break it moment when you will be asked “why don’t you send me a pic?”. For some of my single friends, this hurries most of them to rush to the shower, start shaving their tasty bits, and then concurrently get me on the phone. For what cause, you might ask? Affirmation. Let’s be clear here, sexting a delicious pic of your tasty bits DOES NOT make you:
A) Immoral or desperate
B) A bad person -OR-
C) The negatively induced & widely misunderstood “slut”
The aforementioned list is clearly a culprit of erotophobia deeply entrenched within our society, wherein the mere grazing of enlightenment towards healthy sexual patterning creates venomous panic; but, in all reality the affirmation that they are looking for is because really, you don’t want to look like a tosser in front of someone you’re trying to turn on. Here’s the deal; don’t be afraid that you’ll end up sending pictures of yourself drizzling honey with the caption “this is why they call me sugar tits”, then have a #sexypicfail #meltdown– that’s not going to happen, unless you want it to. The best thing to remember is that engaging digitally is ALWAYS a negotiation and the rules of consent ALWAYS apply.
Here are a few tips to making sure you have a successful #sexypic exchange:
1. 1. Start Classy
If you’re entering the mutually consenting agreement to take it to the next super sexy exhibitionist stage you need to make sure there’s a little foreplay. Don’t just jump in and put the goods on display! This is your chance to get a little creative and play Mistress Tease. Every great sex act has a great story before it, so take your time and play a little bit. A quick pic of your perfect pout, curvaceous hips, lacey leggings, then cleavage could be the perfect path to getting your potential lovers’ attention and keeping it interesting.
2. Know your Apps
Choose your weapon wisely, young Padawan. If you don’t feel comfortable in someone possibly random having a tres titillating snapshot of your nekkidness, then that might be something you will want to consider. And NO, they are lying to you when they said they deleted it…trust me. Use a digital medium you are comfortable with like, Snapchat –aka the virtual Ode to Dick Pics. The photos disappear after 3 seconds, which for you and your situation may be more comforting than texting or IMessaging. If you choose to use a more permanent mode of delivery such as text or email, then have fun with it by adding filters, trying various angles, or use Skype/Facetime which may help make the moment last just a little bit longer and satisfying.
3. Get yourself feeling sexy
Start by talking a little dirty, then go put on some lingerie, those too tight Armani boxer briefs, or trim the hedges if that’s your thing! This might be show and tell, but don’t forget that this sex act is also for you. If you aren’t even slightly turned on by the idea, what’s the point then, really? The thought of having someone else want to worship you where you are in control of the content can be quite a turn-on.
But, what’s the key for a sexy snapshot performance? You sooo need good lighting. Don’t take your pictures in the dark and call it artistic. If you’re going to play in the big leagues, stop prancing around the goal line. Remember, this should feel as sensual for you to act as it is to receive. If you don’t feel comfortable, stop - you always have the option to say no.
4. Stop #selfshaming
We are our own worst critics, said somebody important at one time or another. Being sexy isn’t about duck-facing, have doubled-up on the bra pumped up breasts, stylized bed-head or the right pectoral pic; it’s about embracing your own beauty, whatever that looks like. Here’s the deal, if your potential lover is playfully teasing you with a consensual sext, it’s because they find you attractive. Stop second guessing your sexy self worth. You are a beautiful person inside & out and, all people are deserving of pleasure & intimacy… no matter what their body type. In the wise words of John Mayer “your body is a wonderland” and your sexy sexting digital lover is waiting to discover it.
Stay Sexy, <3 XOX
TLC Sex Show #condoms are never too small & Can You #condomize game? #medsyd #westernu #sexyliving #sexed
- 5 months ago
- 5 months ago
Are You Doin’ It? Getting tested that is! We were at #fanshawesexualawarenessweek2013 @FanshaweCo with @_RHAC @drcarlen @MLHealthUnit @HealthCentre for our TLC SEX SHOW
We handed out prizes, lube, condoms & had a whole bunch of fun!
Thanks Fanshawe for supporting us!